The Cabin in the woods

From the formulaic horror show intro, "Cabin" descends into a tale of modernity meeting the ancients, in which world governments must conspire to feed ancient gods that demand human sacrifices in order to stay "below."

The teens who find themselves in the cabin in the woods have no clue that they have been selected as these gods' next prey, but the audience comes to this horrific realization in a piecemeal manner. Then come the deaths.

Most of the cast gets killed off before they realize they've become anything more than regular old zombie fodder. But two of them discover the alternate world they've been thrown into, in which the federal government is conspiring to murder them in accordance with rituals of old.

And, in the moment from which the movie never returns, they enter a monster menagerie, where gore and violence reign and the movie goes off the rails in a wholly entertaining spectacle. As I said, it's an odd film.

It's not the easiest movie to review, as it's not the simplest movie to watch, but "The Cabin in the Woods" is a fun mind-bending romp for anyone seeking a good, clean head trip.

But all in all, the movie SUCKED!

Lockout

Action drama. Starring Guy Pearce and Maggie Grace. Directed by James Mather and Stephen Saint Leger. (PG-13. 95 minutes.

Like "Taken," another action film derived from a Besson idea, "Lookout" tells the story of a young woman (once again, it's Maggie Grace) being held prisoner. But where "Taken" had the great advantage of a father's need to save his own daughter, and of Liam Neeson in vengeance mode, the relationships in "Lockout" are lukewarm. Our hero doesn't care if he rescues her, and the audience doesn't much care, either. At one point, it's even uncertain whether her being rescued is good for the country. This sort of muddled focus in a screenplay - not to be confused for complexity - is a hallmark of faulty story construction.

Yet most of the time "Lockout" is pleasant enough, not something to recommend to a friend, but enjoyable in the moment. Guy Pearce has a lot to do with that, as the most impervious action star imaginable. At the start of the film, he is tied to a chair and being interrogated by a government official. Every time he is asked a question, he makes a wisecrack and gets punched in the face. This happens about a half dozen times, and to the screenwriters' credit, every single wisecrack is funny.

Later, when offered the assignment of saving the president's daughter, he answers, "I'd rather castrate myself with blunt rocks." Could Noel Coward ever write repartee like that? I think not.

Pearce stays funny throughout, but "Lockout" itself isn't funny, and perhaps it should have been. The movie never bogs down, and the filmmakers aren't self-important enough to overstay their welcome. But as is inevitable with a movie like this - that is, one stuck on a spaceship and with nothing worth pursuing in terms of relationships - the action piles on and acquires a sameness. Too much of "Lockout" consists of Pearce and Grace running through a dim corridor, with people shooting at them.

Round Rock Express VS Iowa Cubs

ROUND ROCK, Texas - Matt Kata delivered a game-winning sacrifice fly in the bottom of the 13th inning as the Round Rock Express edged the Iowa Cubs 11-10 in Sunday afternoon's Pacific Coast League action at The Dell Diamond. It was the first last-at-bat win of the season for the Express (4-7), who had 20 such wins last season. Round Rock takes a two-games-to-one lead in the series against the Cubs (6-5); the Express lead the season series 4-3.

Luis Hernandez singled to open the 13th, and Leonys Martin followed with a single that pushed Hernandez to third. After Brad Nelson was intentionally walked, Kata lifted the first pitch he saw into left-center deep enough for Hernandez to tag and trot home with the winning run. Round Rock batters were 2-for-23 between Nelson's two-run double in the sixth inning and the Hernandez leadoff single in the 13th.

That made a winner of Yoshinori Tateyama (1-0). He entered the game with runners on the corners and two outs in the 12th, retired the first batter he faced to end the inning, and retired the side in order in the top of the 13th. Starter Mark Hamburger was tagged for seven runs on 12 hits - both career highs - in two and two-thirds innings; he walked one, struck out two and allowed two home runs.

Manny Corpas (0-1), the last of five Iowa pitchers on the day, took the loss; the winning run was the only run he allowed in two and two-thirds innings. Starter Randy Wells surrendered eight runs on eight hits, including one home run, over two and one-third innings with three walks and three strikeouts.

Hernandez, Martin and Nelson all had three-hit afternoons for the Express. Nelson tallied four RBI, while Martin, Kata and Tommy Mendonca each had two RBI. Hernandez scored three times; Martin and Julio Borbon each scored twice.

Iowa totaled 22 hits, out-inning the Express by six. Alfredo Amezaga was 5-for-7 out of the ninth spot in the order, while Adrian Cardenas was 4-for-7. Tony Campana and Anthony Rizzo both had three hits, while Luis Valbuena and Matt Tolbert had two each.

The teams traded two spots in the first inning. Valbuena's grand slam in the second staked the Cubs to a 6-2 lead, but the Express answered with four runs on five hits in the bottom of the inning. Amezaga had an RBI single in the top of the third, but Round Rock again answered in the bottom of the frame on Mendonca's first home run of the season - a two-run shot into the Cubs bullpen beyond the right-field wall.

Nelson's double in the sixth pushed the Express lead to 10-7. However, the Cubs got to reliever Aaron Heilman for a run in the seventh, and Michael Kirkman surrendered Ty Wright's two-run, game-tying single in the eighth.

Secret service sex scandal

President Obama says he wants a thorough investigation of a Secret Service scandal connected to his weekend visit to Colombia.


Nearly a dozen agents are in trouble, along with five members of the U.S. military.



The agents were in Colombia preparing for the president's trip when they were accused of hiring prostitutes.



It's been an embarrassment for the White House and the Secret Service.



Eleven members of the elite agency are now on administrative leave.



As Mr. Obama was wrapping up his trip Sunday, he called for a thorough and rigorous investigation.



"If it turns out," he said, "that some of the allegations that have been made in the press are confirmed, then, of course I'll be angry."



The focus at the news conference as he ended his two days in Cartagena was supposed to be on trade and security in Latin America.



Instead, the scandal engulfing the Secret Service remained in the spotlight.



"We're here on behalf of our people," the president said, "and that means that we conduct ourselves with the utmost dignity and probity and, obviously, what's been reported doesn't match up with those standards."



The allegations include reports of drinking and soliciting prostitutes Wednesday night at the Hotel Caribe.



The scandal broke open Thursday morning when an argument allegedly took place between one of the Secret Service officials and a woman who said she hadn't been paid.



Prostitution is legal in Colombia, but the concern is that the security of the president could have been compromised.



Members of Congress vowed to investigate.



"Whatever they do in their personal lives should not be done in Colombia, and should not be done when they're getting ready for the president of the United States to come in," said Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y. "Their job is to protect the president."



None of the Secret Service members were in the elite detail that protects the president. And officials said this incident was more about personal misconduct than it was an operation failure.



"They do very hard work under very stressful circumstances," said Mr. Obama, "and almost invariably, do an outstanding job."

Italian soccer player dies on field

MILAN -- Livorno midfielder Piermario Morosini died Saturday after suffering cardiac arrest and collapsing on the field during a Serie B match at Pescara. He was 25.
Edoardo De Blasio, a cardiologist at Pescara's Santo Spirito hospital, confirmed the death.
"Unfortunately, he was already dead when he arrived at hospital," De Blasio said. "He didn't regain consciousness."
Morosini, who was on loan from Udinese, fell to the ground in the 31st minute of the match and tried unsuccessfully to get up several times before receiving medical attention on the field.

A defibrillator was used on the player, who also had his heart massaged, before an ambulance arrived on the field. He was taken to the hospital where doctors tried to revive him for more than an hour.
A consultant in the hemodynamics department at the hospital, who was watching the game and rushed to help before the ambulance arrived, said Morosini never regained consciousness.
"Morosini never had a single heartbeat again," Leonardo Paloscia said. "From when I arrived, he never gave a sign of revival, not in his respiration nor his heartbeat. When I arrived everything (his heart, respiration) was stopped.
"No one can say what the cause was, I think nothing will come out until after the autopsy."
The autopsy likely will be held on Monday. All Italian matches this weekend were called off after the death was announced.
"We are living through a drama," Pescara's general manager, Danilo Iannascoli, told Sky Italia.
It was the latest high-profile case of a soccer player collapsing from heart failure on the field, coming less than a month after Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba suffered cardiac arrest during a game in England.
Muamba survived, but remains in intensive care with steady progress.
An inquiry into Morosini's death will be opened and focus on the car belonging to traffic police that blocked the ambulance's way into the stadium. A window had to be broken so the car could be moved, while players and officials were frantically gesturing for the ambulance to get there.
"At the beginning, we didn't really understand the seriousness of the situation," Pescara goalkeeper Luca Anania said. "I immediately ran to Livorno's half, where Morosini had fallen.
"There was great confusion and I seemed to understand that there was also a bit of delay in help arriving, because they said the ambulance couldn't get on the pitch because the entrance was blocked by another car. Some of my teammates helped carry the stretcher by hand to the ambulance."
The match was abandoned with Livorno leading 2-0, and several players left the field in tears. Livorno players and officials rushed to the hospital, where they were told their teammate had passed away.
"Only tears. There are no words to express what I tried to when I found out about Piermario Morosini's death," FIFA president Sepp Blatter tweeted in Italian. "The tragedy which hit everyone who wished him well, is a source of great pain for football fans."
Morosini was orphaned in his teens. His mother died when he was 15 and his father died two years later. His brother died shortly afterward, leaving the young Morosini with just an older sister.
"They are things which mark you and change your life," Morosini said in 2005 after the death of his parents. "But at the same time, they instill in your body so much anger and help you to always give everything to realize what was also my parents' dream."
Morosini came through the youth system at Atalanta before moving on to Udinese.
"He was golden, always trying to help his family," Atalanta youth team director Mino Favini said. "He was a fantastic lad who always rushed to help everyone. He lived for his family, yet he was such an unlucky man."
Morosini made six appearances for Udinese before he was loaned to Bologna in 2006 and then Vicenza for two seasons. Morosini made 18 appearances for the Italy Under-21 side and was a member of the 2009 European Under-21 Championship squad, which reached the semifinals.
He had two other loans at Reggina and Padova before returning to Vicenza and moving to Livorno in January.
"Goodbye Piermario, you will always remain in our hearts and in the hearts of everyone who had the fortune to know you and to have you in their lives," a Vicenza statement said.
There have been several deaths in top-level soccer in the past decade. Marc-Vivien Foe collapsed and died during Cameroon's Confederations Cup match against Colombia in 2003. Sevilla's Antonio Puerta passed away in 2007, three days after collapsing with a heart attack during a league match against Getafe.

Easter egg hunt

Callison elementary and Summit Community churchteamed up this Easter weekend in Round Rock to give under privileged childrenthe chance to enjoy an Easter egg hunt. There are many kids that attend Callison Elementary school who otherwise wouldn’thave had the chance to enjoy a big Easter celebration.  The two organizations generously donated thefollowing:  bouncy houses, tattoo airbrushing and a snow cone truck from Kona ice. There were enough Easter eggs tosupply a small army, so there was no   chance that any child would go without an egg,and there were over 100 prize eggs in the mix. There were over 500 people inattendance and it seemed that everyone was enjoying themselves. Children andtheir families were enjoying the free hot dogs and basking in the sun whilethey slurped up their snow cones. The festivities kicked off at 11am and wenttill 12:30. It’s nice to see the church and the communities come together andgive a positive example to those who attended. The separation of church and statewas not an issue on this beautiful day and I’m sure the children are gratefulfor all the hard work that went into planning this event.   I thinkthat the church gets too many negative views in the media today and  hopefully with more kind gestures such as thisand teaming up with more schools they can continue to make the lives ofchildren and their families more enjoyable.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror on the wall, whos the farest of them all? Snow white of course! But, the queen had other plans for snow white. After snows father was lost at war the queen took over the kingdom, she had her own views on how a kingdom should be ran, and it was a dreary view at that. She kept snow white locked away in her room never to be able to leave the castle, and she taxed the people till there was nothing left but poverty and dispare. There was hope on the horizon though. One day snow white sneaked out of the castle to go see the town and what had become of the people, on her way to the town she came upon 2 men hanging from a tree, these men were unbeknown to snow the prince and his guard who fell prey to the bandits of the woods. Snow cut them down at their request and soon was on her way to see the towns people. The prince ended up at the castle where he was greeted by the queen, a queen desperate for a husband. The queen ordered a ball to be set for that evening in the princes honor in hopes to gain his love and to trap him into marrying her. But at the party the prince caught eye of snow white and immediately fell in love with her, as they danced the queen noticed that the prince was spending a bit to much time with snow, this infuriated the queen and that evening she ordered that snow be put to death. She was taken out to the dark forest to where she was to be fed to the beast, but the guard had mercy on her and cut her loose. As she was running she hit her head on a tree and was knocked unconcious, when she awoke she found herself sourrounded by the 7 drarfs, but these werent ordinary drarfs, these were bandits. They soon warmed up to snow white and decided to let her live with them, but if she was to be with them, she had to become like them, so, they tought her the tools of the trade, but under stricked instructions that all the plunder go to the poor townspeople. Word soon got back to the queen that snow white was still alive and leading a band of renagades, this put the queen into high gear to get rid of snow white, so she consulted the mirror and requested magic, one for the death of snow white and one for a love potion to make the prince fall in love with her. These wishes were to be granted, but was to come at a price. The prince soon fell under her spell, but it was a puppy love spell, so he thought he was a dog and that the queen was his master. He had an undying love for her and wanted nothing more than to marry the queen. When snow white found out about the wedding she was crushed, it seemed as though her true love was to be taken away by another. So she and her band of misfit drarfs decided to crash the wedding and steal the prince. Taking the prince back to their camp they soon figured out that he was under some kind of spell. They tried everything they knew to do to break the spell, but finally came to the conclusion that maybe true loves kiss would be the victor. Snow white agreed and was soon to capture her very first kiss. She was hesitant but soon forced herself on a very unwilling prince, but once thier lips touched the spell was broken and the prince professed his love for snow white. But all wasnt well, the queen was on her way to the forest to unleash her magic upon snow white, and to taste death one more time. Snow took it upon herself to slay the beast so she locked the prince and the drarfs in the house, she said that she had always read stories to where the prince always rescues the princess, but this time she was going to rescue herself. So, she heads out into the night to face the beast. Snow soon runs into the queen and confronts her as to why she is there, the queen soon summoned the beast, and with the beast by her side the queen voiced her disdane for snow white, and how glorious it is going to be to watch her die. Snow takes off into the night and the beast is soon after her. Meanwhile the prince and the drarfs break themselves out of the house and chase after snow white. The prince soon runs into snow white and they form an alliance to fight against the beast, but the beast seems to be to powerful for any of them to handle. The beast soon has the prince pined up against a tree, has the drarfs bewildered and is hovering over snow white about to strike. But there is something confusing in the beasts eyes as he stares at snow white, why isnt he striking at her, why isnt he devouring her? A necklace falls forward from around the beasts neck, snow white catches a glimps of it and recognizes the medallion on the chain. Snow was holding a dagger in her hand and instead of plunging it into the beasts heart, she merely cuts off the chain from around its neck, as soon as she does this flashes of light form and a could swirls about, soon her father which she thought was lost years ago was standing right in front of her. The spell had been broken and the family was once again back together, as soon as that spell was broken a curse was bestowed upon the queen, the mirror told her that there was a price to be paid, and as soon as those words exited the mirrors mouth the queen immediately aged and became a wrinkled old woman. The king was so grateful that he granted the victors anything that they wished for. The only thing the prince wanted was to be with snow white the rest of his life, the king granted his wish and they were to be wed. At the wedding people were giving the couple their gifts, and old lady gave snow white an apple as a humble gift and only requested that she take a bite, as snow white was about to take a bite she looked into the eyes of the old lady, paused then sliced a piece off, gave it to the old lady and said, "age before beauty", the old lady slowly grabbed the piece of the apple, then snow white smiled and said, "you should know five minutes before that you have been beaten". The queen knew that she had lost and that snow white and the prince woould live happily ever after.