Halloween: New Rules in Co Parenting
The month of October marks the beginning run of family holidays for the next three months. If you are a newly divorced parent, the next 120 days is going to test your patients and communication skills with your ex-spouse. Have no fear, because SingleDad is here to offer a few friendly reminders on the new rules of Co Parenting. This article blog is going to address Halloween and how important it is to establish a good relationship with your child and ex-spouse during this holiday.
Over-Communicate
If you have children 12 and under, they are most likely attending a Elementary School. This means that there will be a lot of planned Halloween activities during and after school that your child will be attending. If you are in a joint custody schedule, the key here is to “over communicate” any upcoming school functions and emails that you receive from the teacher. There is nothing more embarrassing to your child when he or she goes to class “empty handed”, especially when the classroom has a planned activity. You only need to experience this feeling once to know what I am talking about. A great way to remind your ex-spouse is to be proactive. Send an email, voice mail or face to face communication letting each other know how important it is not to let your child feel “different” with having two households. Too many times, the backpack is not checked for fliers from school. Keep an eye on what your child brings home starting with this holiday.
Not that costume!
We have all seen how the Halloween Costume Industry has gone from innocent to indecent. As a Dad with kids, all I can say is that I am doing everything I can to slow every clock in my house and I am not prepared for my daughter to look sexy or slutty. It’s not cute to see some “pre-teen” dressed up as a “Naughty Nurse”… and believe me, I have seen this happen at my daughter’s school. Most schools these days have enforced dress codes and some have even banned dressing up all together on Halloween. The traditional “Costume March” has left most school campuses because of the nature of some of these costumes being too violent or too provocative. As a Co Parent, both parents need to unite and be good examples of what is acceptable. It’s not going to be too cool if Dad is dresses up as a “PIMP Daddy” in front of his daughter and having to explain that the costume is more “gangster than pimp”…Don’t do this, it just doesn’t work.
Splitting Time Trick or Treating
Most divorce decrees do not address the custody schedule on Halloween, so it is up to the parents to decide what is best. My best advice is to always keep the child’s best interest in mind. Now, I am not saying, “Let the child run the show”… but what I am saying is to make sure you have a pre-determined agreement between both households and ex-spouses. If your child wants to be around familiar faces and neighbors to trick or treat with, by all means make that a priority. If one ex-spouse is residing in that neighborhood, make it a point to stay classy and offer both parents the opportunity to walk with your child together or separately. On my SingleDad Coaching calls, I have seen both parents split times and take their children through the neighborhood with positive results. Your child will thank you in the long run, (kids remember everything). If you are sharing the experience together, it goes without saying, ( but I am going to say it anyways):
· Don’t bring a Boyfriend / Girlfriend
· Don’t talk about Money / Un resolved Disagreements
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